Boys N Toys
by Rationalized Insanity
Summary: SasuSaku. "You! You MAN-STEALER! You stole my man! I demand a refund!"


**Title: Boy N Toys**

**By: R. Insanity**

**A/N: Found this from way back when. Finally got around to posting. Sorry for any grammer mistakes, though some were intentional. Hope you enjoy! Oh, and this is rated T for mention of kinkiness. **

* * *

I was not happy.

Repeat:_** Not.**_

It.

Wasn't.

Fair.

How the hell did _he_ get that much attention?!

He wasn't that hot!... ok, he's feakin' gorgeous with those sexy I'm-so-mysterious-eyes and all, but _still_!

Tch. This was supposed to be my night. MY NIGHT!

And Pretty Boy (because he is really pretty) over here is stealing it! I mean, my god, even guys are lusing after him! Even, even, (can't believe I'm saying this) _Sai_ can't take his eyes of him.

Kill.

Me.

Now.

* * *

"Well, what did you expect? It's not exactly like you two are on a date, this is a group outing, remember?"

"I know, I know but… ugh!" I took another long sip of whatever-the-hell-Ino-got-me before slamming it down. "It's not fair!"

I could practically _feel _Ino roll her eyes.

"It told you something wasn't right with him! But nooo, 'he only wears belly shirts to show off his six-pack, it's sexy!'", Ino yelled, repeating what I had said earlier. "Ya know, you have a fetish for kinkiness. Oh look! Shikamaru!"

As Ino pranced off to her boy toy for the week (or month, with Shikamaru you could never tell.) I took another sip from my drink. (Yes, from the bendy straw! God knows what disease I'd contract if I drank from the actual cup.)

So what if he wore belly shirts? It _was_ hot.

… then again he is always always commenting on Naruto's –ahem- personal persons.

…God I'm socially retarded.

But damn! How was I supposed to know that Sai 'worked the _other_ way?'

And I had even gotten all dressed up in the fabulous little black dress that showed off my thights, and wore the blackest mascara Wal-mart sold (God my eyes are beautiful tonight.) I even wore my oh-so-beautiful-cost-me-half-my-paycheck Jimmy Chu's, that mad my legs oh-so-long, and were oh-so-comfortable, and OH-MY-GOD IS SAI KISSING THE BARTENDER!

.

.

.

Oh.

Okay, false alarm. Sai was just leaning in to give an order.

Still, it looked realistic. Maybe I should go over, just to make sure he doesn't get one to many.

"Hey, Sai!" God, why did I have to have a chirpy voice?

"Hello, Ugly." Sai said, flashing a too-wide smile.

Okay, before anyone gets any ideas, 'Ugly' is a pet name. Got it? Guys did that right?

"Wow, it's hot in here, huh? I'm all _sweaty_ from _being pushed up against_ people."

Yes, I'm laying it on thick, so what? This is Sai, he's even more of a social retard than I am.

"Here's your order, sir."

Okay, if this were any other time or place, I would have _so_ jumped this guys' bones (that is one of the smexiest voices I've ever heard) BUT SAI SMILED.

Like, a real smile.

I've _never_ seen Sai smile. I thought he was physically incapable of doing it. (Well not _it_, but, you know, I'm pretty sure he's more than capable… in that area. Okay. Shutting up now.)

And this wasn't even a normal thank-you smile. No! This, this was a flirty I-wanna-get-in-your-pants smile. The exact one I gave him!

Gah! Stupid (hot) bartender! If it wasn't for him Sai would be trying to get it on with me right now!

"Thank you. I'm sure it's shaken well. You look like you could create an earthquake."

Oh

My.

God.

Was Sai just _hitting on him_?

Oh. _Hell_. No!

Sai's supposed to be trying to lay me, not someone else. Not a guy. Here I am all hot and bothered waiting for Sai to pounce me (which, of course, I shall reject. I'm not a whore, just a women.) and he's—

.

.

.

Did Sai just do a wink-and-leave? Oh, that bartender is _so_ going down! Where the hell is Ino?

* * *

Alright, me and Ino came up with a plan. To be henceforth called The Plan.

_She_ was going to watch ( I have no idea how that happened) whilst I (in my kick-ass phemaleness) am going to tell him off. Yep, I think it's brilliant too.

However, Pretty boy was just too… pretty. I was bound to get distracted and go all fan-girly so Ino came up with an awesome (stupid) idea – I'll tell him off while I'm pissed drunk. Oh. Yeah.

* * *

"You!"

It has come to my attention that in order for The Plan to work, Pretty boy had to look at me but He. Just. Didn't. Turn. Around.

"You!"

Stubborn jackass.

"You! With the chicken-ass for a hair-do! Over here! Now!"

Hah! My brilliance can overcome all obstacles!

"_What?_"

Oh. He was hot when he was angry.

"You, you, you, you MAN-STEALER!"

Yep. My vocabulary impresses me too.

"Excuse me?" Guy asked, raising an eyebrow, clearly amused.

"You heard me! You _stole_ my man! I came here tonight with every intention of getting laid (not true) by my man but you! You, in all your sexy glory, stole him! I… I demand a refund!"

Person rolled his eyes. Don't blame him. I would've done the same.

He began to walk (or is it saunter?) away, but I stop him.

"You! What's your name?" I demanded.

"Hn."

"That's not an effing name! Now give me thoust name! I command thee!" Great, we're in the 21st century Sak, remember?

"Sasuke."

"Ah-ha! Sas-_gay_! I knew you were…after… my… man?"

Damn, he had one hell of a death glare. He should get it patented.

"Look, annoying woman—"

"Woman has a name, it's Sakura! And I am not annoying!"

"Hn. Whatever, I don't care. Now go away unless you're here to order something, or I'll do it myself."

"I am ordering something! I'm ordering you to stay away from my man!"

Sasuke shook his head and muttered something about how this always happened. Apparently, I wasn't the only victim of his man-stealing ways.

"Point him out."

"Excuse me?"

"You _man_," Sasuke said, voice dripping with sarcasm, "Point him out so I can tell him to fuck off so I can get rid of _you_."

"Oh. Well, uh, he's right there!" I said pointing proudly at Sai.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Belly-shirt freak that is currently giving a lap dance to the whole effing bar?"

"Yep!"

Dude gave me the _look_. You know the one that they show when they think you're insane.

"What? It's hot! A belly-shirt, I mean. The dance, I'm a little, eh, about, I mean if it was _you_, sure, it'd be hot, but Sai can't dance, so personally I'd rather do the dance, of course it'd look sexier with chains and leather—"

"You have a kinky fetish don't you?

Oh, alcohol, how thy loosen thy tongue.

"Yeah, so what? Do you have a problem with it?" I demanded.

Sasuke smirked. "No, it's just really _interesting_."

Screw Sai, I know flirting when I see it.

* * *

This was a stake-out.

Everyone had already left and only a few hardcore party…ers were still at the club.

Part of me wonder whether I should've left with the others and pursued my, ah, infatuation (lust) for Sai another night.

But then I saw _him_.

I smiled, he changed out of his plain work clothes and now wore a skin tight black shirt that hugged his muscles, loose trip pants, and if I squinted I could see the chain collar around his neck.

He came closer and shoved a bag into my hands.

Nice, giving probably wasn't part of his many talents.

"Show. Heels don't exactly do well in snow." He clarified before shoving his hand in his pockets nonchalantly.

True. My toes were getting a little bluish. Ew.

"You have shoes? For me?" I didn't exactly wanna walk around in bigfoot's tennis, my toes be damned.

"They're from a… hobby of mind." He smirked and I felt my heart beating rapidly. God that smirk was hot.

I opened the bag and heart myself gasp.

Inside were the most beautiful leather boots know to man, or just me, whatever. They went knee –high and practically screamed "Topper!"

Sasuke looked at me, and smirked.

"Kinky."

* * *

**A/N: So... did you enjoy? Yes, no? Please comment. **


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